I used to pretend not to notice however I did, I noticed every single thing. Damn for you!
I hate pretending, therefore I hate pretenders. I see people come with many different intentions. They come to stroke their egos, they come to pity and they come to benchmark. Pure intentions are very rare these days. I prefer straight forward people because they know what they want, and that allows everyone not to waste anyone’s time.
Just being real cause I am tired of pretending that I don’t notice, I studied and after analysing my studies I was left with a “heavy heart”. Blood is not thicker than water, all blood is water, and all water can be flushed away. My blood was conceived by “water”… so just imagine what I think Blood is to me.
Botlhale • Mos
I flash away pretenders
From the day we are born, we start learning how to live in this complex world. The biggest challenge is not to survive but to live, to enjoy and to have an amazing human experience before we return to our spiritual existence again.
I have realised that most of us are chasing some form of success, socially, financially or otherwise. We are at a constant chase however most of us have never seat down and thought about what we are chasing. We have not defined what our perceptions of our desired success looks like, and that makes the journey impossible to complete.
Frustrations are mostly experienced when people are stuck but they do not understand why they are stuck, they find it impossible to ask for help because they don’t know what to ask for, they basically do not know what is wrong but they know that something is not the way it is supposed to be, because they feel incomplete.
“Successful” people know what they desire, and they know how to achieve their desires. Some people are already “successful” but they desire the glories of success. They are chasing the money, the fame and other things which were not part of the actual dream. Some people have the money and the fame but they have not achieved their dreams therefore they are not successful. A lot of people confuse these two scenarios and that is what stops them from reaching a point of happiness, a point where they are living.
It is important to define your dream. The only way one can achieve anything in life is by defining exactly what one wants to achieve, because without that definition one cannot achieve any form of success because they wouldn’t know how it looks like. There are people who have everything… Think about it!
My dream is to motivate, inspire and teach people how to dream and follow through. I AM DOING EXACTLY THAT EVERYDAY in various ways. That means I am successful. Everything which comes after me doing what I love is the Glory of success.
We desire to live, however we trap our selves in a state of surviving because we cannot define our desires. We are sold everything and we want everything. At the end of the day our happiness, our lives don’t lie in having everything, they lie in that definition we need to all figure out.
Botlhale • Mos
Define the dream
The other day I was talking a walk in my neighborhood just to relax my mind. As I was walking I passed this strange looking house. There was overgrown grass everywhere as well as vines growing on the walls of the house. The place looked dark as if the sun had already went down. As I was just about to pass that yard a dog started barking. I stopped and looked because this house seemed like it was abounded. The dog was in a cage; it started banging the door of the cage however it couldn’t get out as it barked and barked until the owner came out of the house. It was an old man, he had a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He looked at me and said “please move on you are upsetting my dog”. I stood there for a couple of seconds as my mind had just been fucked.
A few seconds later as I was very shocked I “moved on”; I continued with my walk but I couldn’t get what I had just experienced out of my mind. Why is this guy living in such a house? And why is that dog locked in a cage?
The desperation in the eyes of that dog shows that it never interacts with other people besides its owner, and definitely it never interacts with other dogs. The desperation looked frighteningly dangerous, I am definitely sure that had the dog opened the door of that cage it would have attacked me. It was desperate to do something besides sitting in its cage. It was desperate to have a different experience, however it is literally trapped; literally.
That dog reminded me of a lot of people, all these people including myself we are desperate to live our dreams however we are trapped in systems which promised us “a better future”. Some people are constrained because of the lack of resources(mostly money) as they have been conditioned that they will never live their dreams without these resources or without being part of these systems. As much as this dog is literally trapped, people are equally trapped because what you believe in is very powerful; what you believe in takes over your mind.
Who knows how long has this dog been living in this mans system. It is possible that should it be taken out of that cage it would still live in that small space where the cage used to be and think it is still trapped. At this point it might think it is not trapped because living in a cage is normal to it.
All of us in the world we are trapped by some sort of system, we all have this “man” who has conditioned us to believe that we are not trapped, we cannot see or feel these traps because we have never been taught how to think independently. Everything we know was taught to us.
NOW BE THIS DOG
Imagine being released for the first time in your life, no system; no “man”. You have never learned anything besides sitting inside that system (cage). Everything you have done is something someone else has done before. Now you are free, the cage is open and you have the opportunity to leave. What would you do? Where would you go?
There is more out there, all we need to do is Dream and stop thinking of things which will stop us. We are not literally trapped; we just need to unlock our minds to new worlds, to new possibilities.
As I continued with my walk I said to myself “I should stop being that dog, I rather be the man!”…
Botlhale • Mos
Motivate • Inspire • Teach
A boy noticed that every time he sees his mother fry fish in a pan his mother used to cut off the head and the tail. He then asked his mother why does she do that all the time she prepares fish. His mother’s response was that she learned how to prepare a fish like that from her mother, and she never asked why they prepared it that way. The boy then asked his grandmother and astonishingly his grandmother said she used to prepare the fish like that because back in the old days they didn’t have access to big frying pans, so they chopped the head and the tail off so that the fish can fit in the pan.
Using this story as an example I want to share my frustrations about traditions. I find myself being the boy in the story on a regular basis when I have conversations with elders in my family. I am a very curious person and I disregard things which people try to force on me while they are unable to explain the roots of the tradition they want me to practice.
Often elders are unable to explain why we do things, like in the story the boy’s mother was unable to explain why she chops the head and the tail off, only to find out the tradition was based on convenience. I am seriously against African traditions because most of them cannot be explained. We are already a “westernized society” so why do we try and suggest that a certain outfit shows respect in serious events, for example men in serious events need to wear jackets as a sign of respect and women wear long dresses. Traditional African clothing doesn’t consist of clothing. It consists of skins. Our clothing is Western European culture so can someone explain to me how does a jacket or a dress show respect ? Its a piece of clothing for goodness sake.
I am African so I will talk about African traditions. We believe in many different things and we want to enforce our beliefs onto others without leaving room for them to belief in what they choose. We also feel offended when people go against “our traditions”
We have the responsibility to ask why things are being done the way they are being done because when we skip a generation without asking we are going to end up teaching things which we do not understand ourselves, which is what is happening now… frustrated boys and girls who have simple questions but the answers they receive are”it is our tradition.”
If the mother had asked her mother she would have understood that the preparation method her mother used was based on convenience, and she would have amended the method to what she prefers because she has options today. Her mothers method was not supposed to be a “tradition”… luckily the boy’s grandmother was still alive, because if she wasn’t his mother was going to force a “misguided tradition” on him and he would also pass it down because it would have grown into a tradition.
If elders are going to fail to explain why we do things with a better explanation than “it is our tradition” then I rather be the disrespectful rebel.
Some African traditions are just superstitions, people fear the unknown, people are paranoid and people believe in nonsense which restricts the ability to be open minded.
“To go back to tradition is the first step forward ” – African Proverb
“Dreaming and working on your uncertain dreams is a privilege for people who can afford…”
When I heard a man tell his son that I was like “wait, what kind of bull nonsense is that?” Dreaming can never be a Privilege. We aspire to live in our dream worlds and we cannot afford to allow our financial state determine whether we live in our dream worlds or not. What if his son stops dreaming, finds a job and never saves up enough to allow himself to afford to dream? That is what employment does once you enter the system.
I have the privilege of enjoying the services of a gardening service. Every time the gardener comes to work in my small garden all I see from his work is passion, he does what he loves. I have conversations with him every time he comes cut the grass and he told me that he is living his dream. He doesn’t earn much but he wouldn’t do anything else besides gardening. All he wants is to grow his micro business and take care of his family. He told me that his family is happy and that makes him happy because they allow him to do what he loves.
I also have regular conversations with a cook I buy lunch from. Now he has an amazing story to tell. From nothing he built his restaurants and catering business. He told me that “all he dreams about is cooking and seeing people enjoy his food.” He told me that he started his business with borrowed equipment and borrowed cash to buy his first stock. He never stopped ever since “I would never trade living this dream for anything”… very clean food from a passionate cook.
There are many more people who I can tell you about, people who didn’t afford to dream however they are living their dreams today because of the passion they have and the hustling spirit which couldn’t allow them to quit. The guy I buy vegetables from, the guy I buy confectionery from and even the guy who cuts my hair… they are all successful in their fields they are all living the dream and they all couldn’t afford to dream.
Many young people today have expensive dreams, dreams their close ones tell them not to consider. Only a few continue to dream, only a few continue to work towards living these dreams… my dream is to see more people consider to live the dream. My dream Is to see more people who are persistent, people who will do whatever it takes to protect their dreams because “Every dream is valid.”
Once we stop discouraging and start encouraging the world will be a happier place to live in… The kid told his father that “I will live my dream whether you are part of it or not.” Unfortunately he did not receive the support he wanted from his father but fortunately the dream is Alive!
MOTIVATE • INSPIRE • TEACH
I fought so many feelings I had for you and agreed to be in a friend zone with you because we both thought we would be friends forever. I was afraid to date you because I knew that once we date we would be at a risk of losing each other forever. That was the most stupid thing we did together because we lost each other either way as we grew apart.
We never learned how to love each other at a distance and now it is not the same anymore; even when we meet you seem strange as if I never knew you.
We used to talk everyday and we didn’t run out of things to talk about. We were natural as if we had known each other since birth. We found truth in each other, only to realise today that our truth was based on deceiving ourselves… in my perspective anyways.
Love? Yes I loved you, I couldn’t be apart from you, all the time we didn’t share tortured me; all I wanted was to spend as much time with you as possible.
We both felt the same love, we both didn’t act on it. We lost each other. I thought our story would receive a movie ending, but we both know how it ended.
I don’t regret our choices; I just have that “What if?” Pacing in my consciousness. I really hope you are doing well because I really miss you.
Botlhale • Mos
Inspired by a romcom