Daddy issues


For half my life I lived without my dad, because he decided not to be around. He sends a text on fathers day and says, “hey son, I think of you and you will always be my son…”. Being a father is not about convenience. It is about being present and raising your children, grooming them to be respectable men and women.

That is a story of one person who exists without a father figure. however today a lot of children live in this way, they do not celebrate fathers day because they have never experienced a father’s love, or because their fathers left them.

Fathers are important to society because they teach what women cannot teach, they teach masculinity and values from a men’s perspective. It is unfair to place all this responsibility on to women, to let them raise children as single mothers. I should not be mistaken; single mothers do a great job, however it shouldn’t be like that because some conversations need a father figure.

A boy child. How does a single mother teach a boy child to become a gentleman who treats women well and a good father who raises his children in a good home? Some lessons are best taught from observation. A boy child should observe his father love his mother and observe his father raise him to learn these lessons.

A girl child. How does a mother teach a girl to be a woman who demands respect from her husband, when a girl has never seen a man respect a woman. Love within a family influences children to become responsible, respectable, caring and loving parents as well as husbands or wives.

This might sound prejudice to black people, however, black men have a generational history of leaving their children to be raised by single mothers. Townships and ghettos around the world have this history, which results in dysfunctional black communities. Men end up less empowered than women, because they do not have male role models in their lives. They are then absorbed by the corruption of the streets.

Black communities are dysfunctional because evey black person who succeeds leaves their community without looking back, to live in white communities. Black communities are full of single parents raising children. Generally a child from a family which consists of both parents is noticeable without them saying it.

This article is for the kids who grew up not knowing their daddies well enough to call them a father. It is to all the daddies who who left their families and forgot that they are fathers.

It is time that men take responsibility and raise their children without being forced to, because children need their fathers. And societies need responsible men to build functional communities.

Happy fathers day to all the responsible fathers; I salute you.

Botlhale • Mos


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